Tears of Joy: A Sister's Love

I know I haven’t blogged recently but I’ve been busy with all the activity going on at my house. Last week on August 4, 2011 my best friend and sister, Rachel got married. First of all I still can’t believe that it’s real. I have a married sister! And a brother! Growing up is such a strange thing. For all of my life I was a child. And as I was growing up, so was everyone else. It felt normal. But looking back at it growing us takes place without one realizing it. I guess I’m an adult now. Twenty years old seems like an adult-ish age. Talking with my sisters about marriage and kids was a common phenomenon growing up but it never seemed like it would happen to us. It happens to everyone else and it happens in movies but somehow it never felt it would happen to US!

                Well, it turns out that it is real. Rachel is the first of my sisters to get married and the rest of us will follow soon enough I’m sure. ;)

                This wedding has brought so much joy to my family, but more than that I know it brought glory to Jesus. God answered so many of our prayers for this wedding and I want to testify of them. Some of them were just silly prayers like asking Jesus to provide someone to videotape the ceremony, and praying for a cloud to cover the wedding party and audience to keep us cool but not rain on us. There was so much work that went into this one day, but Jesus cares about the little things. He can even keep mosquito bites from itching. I can testify to that!

But in all seriousness I don’t even know where to start.  I have just been so blown away this last week at how much God really loves us and the love he gives us for each other. I didn’t realize how much I loved my sister until this last week. In all of my selfishness, I wanted to keep her all to myself forever, but I’m starting to discover just a little bit of what real love looks like. It’s learning to let go of someone so precious and dear as a sister. I know that life would get boring if things never changed, and I know that I could never make my sister happy in the way that her husband could. It’s a new season of life and it’s such a good, good change. As much as I wanted to hold onto her forever I knew I had to let her go. What is more precious than seeing the love of Jesus reflected in a Godly marriage?

But of course, change never comes without tears. Some change leaves us with bitter, harsh tears; but some change leaves us with sweet tears of joy. As I’m sure you can tell by the title, I experiences the latter of the two kinds of change. I’ve never felt such a mix of emotion at one time. How can you be extremely happy for someone, yet so sad that they have to leave you? I can say one thing though, I have never been happier for Rachel Elizabeth Kurz than I was the day of her wedding. It brought a kind of joy that I had never experienced before. Because I know that this decision is such a good thing, I couldn’t be happier for them than I am now. Knowing that my sister is so happy brings me such joy! And we’re only human. Can you even imagine how much joy it brings Jesus when we are happy and in relationship with Him?! We don’t even have to do anything for Him and He is just happy to watch us living. And when I say LIVING I don’t mean SURVIVING. These are two very different things that I’m still learning. To say it more poetically... in racing terms, surviving is racing as fast as you can and constantly comparing your speed with the other racers to make sure you stay in the lead. Worry is a big part of surviving also. But to live is to trust Jesus that He is in control and not compare your speed or circumstances.

                Time keeps moving; life keeps happening; and the change gets easier...not to mention the incredible peace that comes from knowing Jesus.  It’s been one week since the wedding and I have never felt so much peace. I seem to get overwhelmed at times when I have to say goodbye to a close friend or sister, but Jesus hasn’t left my side once. He never does leave me, but this week He has felt especially close. It’s like His closeness assures me that even when people in my life must move on, He will never leave my side. He is my Father and Protector. He is my Friend and Provider. He is my Shelter and the Love of my life. In a world filled with change and inconsistency, HE IS CONSTANT and HE IS GOOD.