This is not just a message for married couples

I think it's kind of silly to apologize about not writing on here more often. I just don't like to write a whole lot, but when I have something to say AND am motivated to articulate it, then "bloggingness" happens, so lets just say- I update my blog about twice a year. If I happen to write more often, it will be an accomplishment. Anyway....

I guess for the last few months the Lord has been showing me a whole lot about myself, Him, and the way I approach Him. And the revelation I had today I think pretty much sums up my life recently at least. I'm gonna be a little vulnerable on this blog, but I think it's appropriate because I think the Lord uses the struggles and things we go through in our life, not only to make us stronger and draw us closer to Him, but also to encourage others- so I hope that you are encouraged.

Today as I was talking with the Lord, I was meditating on and asking Him what my love language is and how I give love (because they aren't necessarily the same thing.) I realized that the way I give love mostly is through acts of service, although that is not how I receive love (I think?) I'll do the dishes or clean things for my mom. I'll work without question and not ask anything in return. That is my way of blessing people. But there is more to relationship that just serving one another. There are other love languages too though- quality time, touch, gifts and words of affirmation.You have to spend time together. You have to talk to one another. You give each other hugs and encourage one another. It takes TIME. This is something that I think lots of us need the Lords help with. Today I was listening to Moody Radio (You know you're an adult when you listen to Moody Radio...) and Chris Fabere was talking about being intentional with our friendships. We're so intentional about where we go to school, looking for jobs, working out, etc. but friendships just seem to happen on accident. We need to be intentional about our relationships! This is not a message for only married couples. We need to be intentional about our friendships and our relationship with Jesus. I mean when you think about it, relationships are the only things that will last. It's what makes life worth living. Sure it feels good to be productive and feel like you've made a good life for yourself, but lets be honest are you really gonna care about how big your house was or how fast your car was on your death bed?? Those things are coming with you to eternity.

The Holy Spirit convicted me in a very loving way today about this. He doesn't just want me to work for Him. He wants to spend time with me. He wants to talk to me. He wants to give me life and fulfill my every need. It's just like any other relationship, but it's so much better because He is perfect. He doesn't take advantage of us. He's never jealous of us. He's always encouraging us. He never lies to us. But He knows EVERYTHING about us and still LOVES us. That is something that I am continually amazed by and so grateful for.

Someone wise once told me that in the Kingdom of God Lovers get more done than Workers do. We are human "beings" not human "doings." Let's start living like that.

Let God Love You

     Some lessons take more than one time to learn. Recently God has been showing me that I need to let Him love me once again. It’s such an important lesson too. If we don’t let God love us first, we won’t be able to love others or God. So many times I’ve found myself trying to work for God and trying to please Him, but once again He reminded me how pleased He is with me already- not when I have my own ministry or have written hundreds of worship songs. He is pleased with me now, not because of what I’ve done but because of who I am in Him.

     Sometimes I feel like it’s my job to make sure everyone gets saved, but that puts an unnecessary pressure on me that God hasn’t given me. If He needed us, we would have a huge responsibility and a reason for worry. But He doesn’t need us; He wants us desperately and desires relationship with us.  I do believe God lets us partner with Him in this huge goal, but He knows what we can and can’t handle. And just like Jesus, we are to be obedient and only do what God gives us to do. He’s in control, not us. Let God be God.

     Our primary purpose is not to work for God though. He calls us to be worshipers first. Let God love you first and it will draw you to the place you were designed for- His presence.  

“Our purpose is that we might worship God and enjoy Him forever.” –A. W. Tozer

Tears of Joy: A Sister's Love

I know I haven’t blogged recently but I’ve been busy with all the activity going on at my house. Last week on August 4, 2011 my best friend and sister, Rachel got married. First of all I still can’t believe that it’s real. I have a married sister! And a brother! Growing up is such a strange thing. For all of my life I was a child. And as I was growing up, so was everyone else. It felt normal. But looking back at it growing us takes place without one realizing it. I guess I’m an adult now. Twenty years old seems like an adult-ish age. Talking with my sisters about marriage and kids was a common phenomenon growing up but it never seemed like it would happen to us. It happens to everyone else and it happens in movies but somehow it never felt it would happen to US!

                Well, it turns out that it is real. Rachel is the first of my sisters to get married and the rest of us will follow soon enough I’m sure. ;)

                This wedding has brought so much joy to my family, but more than that I know it brought glory to Jesus. God answered so many of our prayers for this wedding and I want to testify of them. Some of them were just silly prayers like asking Jesus to provide someone to videotape the ceremony, and praying for a cloud to cover the wedding party and audience to keep us cool but not rain on us. There was so much work that went into this one day, but Jesus cares about the little things. He can even keep mosquito bites from itching. I can testify to that!

But in all seriousness I don’t even know where to start.  I have just been so blown away this last week at how much God really loves us and the love he gives us for each other. I didn’t realize how much I loved my sister until this last week. In all of my selfishness, I wanted to keep her all to myself forever, but I’m starting to discover just a little bit of what real love looks like. It’s learning to let go of someone so precious and dear as a sister. I know that life would get boring if things never changed, and I know that I could never make my sister happy in the way that her husband could. It’s a new season of life and it’s such a good, good change. As much as I wanted to hold onto her forever I knew I had to let her go. What is more precious than seeing the love of Jesus reflected in a Godly marriage?

But of course, change never comes without tears. Some change leaves us with bitter, harsh tears; but some change leaves us with sweet tears of joy. As I’m sure you can tell by the title, I experiences the latter of the two kinds of change. I’ve never felt such a mix of emotion at one time. How can you be extremely happy for someone, yet so sad that they have to leave you? I can say one thing though, I have never been happier for Rachel Elizabeth Kurz than I was the day of her wedding. It brought a kind of joy that I had never experienced before. Because I know that this decision is such a good thing, I couldn’t be happier for them than I am now. Knowing that my sister is so happy brings me such joy! And we’re only human. Can you even imagine how much joy it brings Jesus when we are happy and in relationship with Him?! We don’t even have to do anything for Him and He is just happy to watch us living. And when I say LIVING I don’t mean SURVIVING. These are two very different things that I’m still learning. To say it more poetically... in racing terms, surviving is racing as fast as you can and constantly comparing your speed with the other racers to make sure you stay in the lead. Worry is a big part of surviving also. But to live is to trust Jesus that He is in control and not compare your speed or circumstances.

                Time keeps moving; life keeps happening; and the change gets easier...not to mention the incredible peace that comes from knowing Jesus.  It’s been one week since the wedding and I have never felt so much peace. I seem to get overwhelmed at times when I have to say goodbye to a close friend or sister, but Jesus hasn’t left my side once. He never does leave me, but this week He has felt especially close. It’s like His closeness assures me that even when people in my life must move on, He will never leave my side. He is my Father and Protector. He is my Friend and Provider. He is my Shelter and the Love of my life. In a world filled with change and inconsistency, HE IS CONSTANT and HE IS GOOD.

We have fun here at YWAM

So when we're not in class or on outreach we're usually either baking, going on road trips, taking pictures, or going to walmart. These may not seem like fun things to do but anything can be fun when you're with friends! So this post is just for fun since I like pictures and I love my friends!

This was taken way back in March when we drove down to Texas for our School of Evangelism (SOE.) This is Meghan and Sarah by the way. I'm the one in the middle with with an unusually happy expression (in case you couldn't tell)

Kaitlin and I go to El Paso (her home town) for the weekend. It took 12 hours to get there. I was very stir crazy by the end of it.

Esther, Kaitlin, and I taking pictures at the park in 100 degree weather. Thankfully you can't tell that it's that hot. =P

AND HERE'S SOME PIZZA WE MADE!! Quite delicious I must say ;)

Keep My Eyes On Jesus!

        

Yesterday at our Sunday night meeting our speaker, Rick Allegretto, spoke about how important our attitude is. He said statistics show that

                15% of success is determined by knowledge of your job whereas…

                85% of success is determined by your attitude

This goes for more than just your job but life in general. Knowledge is important, don’t get me wrong, but when it comes down to it, our attitude and approach to life is way more important. When we keep our eyes on Jesus and allow Him to be our source of strength and joy, then no matter what circumstances come our way we will stand firmly on the Rock of our Salvation, Jesus Christ. It’s not about whether we are having a good day or bad day; God calls us to live according to truth- His truth, not our emotions that fluctuate so often. “Regardless of public opinion we are accountable to what the truth is.” Whether we worry too much, get discouraged, or just try to do things on our own; we need to look at the truth of God’s Word. All of these things happen when we take our eyes off of Jesus and look at our circumstances.

“Never doubt in the dark what God has told you in the light.” –Rick Warren

When Peter stepped out of the boat to walk on the water towards Jesus, he was doing great until he looked at the storm and took his eyes off of Jesus. When Satan was tempting Jesus in the desert, Jesus didn’t depend on how hungry he was feeling or any other thoughts, He depended solely on the Word of God. He understood that truth was the only thing that He could fight with. 

This is such a simple truth but it’s so relevant: Have an attitude like Jesus did. Keep the main thing the main thing. When Jesus is our Lord- the center or our lives- then we won’t get distracted and caught up with meaningless things. The cares of this world won’t seem like giants anymore. This takes laying down our will and surrendering to the will of God. This is not something that we can just make happen. Taking our hands off and laying down our selfishness is a process that we need the Lord’s help in. He is more than willing to help us. We just have to be willing. “Jesus, keep my eyes on You!”

“For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!” -2 Corinthians 4:17

Love God With All Your Mind

I thought I would write a little update about my life since I haven’t in awhile… Now where do I start?! Well these last few weeks we’ve been learning a lot of theology which has been really stretching. I grew up believing a lot of these things because I was taught it in church and at home. This past month I have started to understand a little bit of what “loving God with all your mind” means. It’s asking Him the hard questions; it’s wrestling with God about my beliefs. I used to think that questioning my beliefs was the opposite of faith and that it would make my relationship with Jesus distant. Why would you question God?

I’ve come to realize that if your heart is to know God more then struggling with God in these areas is not a sign of weakness but a sign of hunger for God to grow closer in intimacy with Him. I used to live off of emotional highs in worship and think that that in itself was love for God. We aren’t meant to stay “baby Christians” though. God says in His word that we are to be able to give an answer to why we believe what we believe. How are we supposed to get to that place unless we’ve studied for ourselves and talked to God about it?

“But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.”

                                                                                                                1 Peter 3:15

Home Away From Home

This last week my School of Evangelism (SOE) team and I went to Chicago for urban missions. We stayed at the YWAM base there and did a variety of activities including prayer walks up and down Devon Street, which has many different nationalities including Indian, Pakistani, and Israeli. We visited a Mosque and a Hindu temple to learn about their beliefs. We heard from a few different speakers about urbanization and God’s plans in it all.

So you may be asking “what is ‘Urbanization’ and what’s so important about it?” I had the same question and I’ve learned a lot this last week. First of all, the world is becoming “urbanized” meaning that more and more people are moving to cities. There are still people that live in the country but most people are moving into cities for jobs or other various reasons. At the end of the book of Matthew, Jesus gives us a command saying “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations.” This is what we call the Great Commission. Go literally means a change in location; and making disciples is what we need to be doing. I believe Jesus is still calling us to the remote places of the earth, but He also calls people to major urban areas. When you go to another country or people group, you must learn the language and the culture. You must travel and adapt to different living situations. It’s worth it to spread the gospel and make Jesus known if that’s where He’s calling you to, but when they start moving to us- they are doing half the work. They start to adapt to our culture. We just need to make ourselves available to them. They are right outside our door and half the time we don’t take the opportunity to reach out to them.

I have lived in Chicago my whole life and never had this revelation. What a crazy thought! The nations are coming to us and all we need to do is be available and ask God what our part is.

The leader of YWAM Chicago, Brad Stanley, had an incredibly huge heart for this city and for God’s purposes. It was an incredible time to be under His leadership and learn so much from Him. Plus riding in a 15 passenger vans with dozens of crazy YWAMers is priceless!